Long Island Donkey Punch

Heart. Soul. Gone. Maybe just until July 1, I don't know.
In any event, this is fucked.

Be Back In A Week - Maybe

Going to Vegas for a week starting tomorrow. I'll try to come back still single, but no promises. I'll bring pictures, too. What happens in Vegas, should be shown to everyone, no matter the level of embarrassment.

Later.

Johnny Doesn't Let Death Get In The Way

I watch a lot of TV, and it always seems that when you watch quite a bit of the tube, you'll always come across some program, commercial or sports highlight again and again. Some are good, some are vomitous. Johnny Cash is always in the good bin.

Johnny Cash is about as cool as any other dead person out there. Maybe infinitely cooler. Other dead "cool" celebrities and personalities are just sittin' around, doing nothing, either in their graves, or wherever their ashes were dumped. JC puts out the hits, and with the videos released of his songs, he's established a legacy that's already bigger than three moons, and probably also affects the tides. And maybe it blocks out the sun every now and then, and the only way to see his legacy is with a pinhole box viewer.

The latest single from his posthumously 2006-release American Recordings V: A Hundred Highways, entitled "God's Gonna Cut You Down", is about as good as it gets. It is yet again another triumph for Johnny, continuing his octogenarian roll that began with his cover of NIN's "Hurt" (which, by the way, may be one of the only music videos I've cried while watching).

I keep seeing this video on CMT while channel surfing, and only while surfing, because those who know me, know that I would never purposefully watch, or even linger, on a country music channel. However, it seems that I'm always catching the video for "God's", either in part or in whole. And each time I see it, I'm in conflict. I love Cash, and every bit of his music (now, I fully see the hypocrisy in loving Cash, but hating country music - I believe that some country is good, and 90% is God-awful), but this video vexes me. Directed by Tony Kaye (American History X), it features celebrities du jour, individuals of the moment. The question is: why are some of the lamest, attention-whoring, self-important celebs included? Kanye West, Kid Rock (is he still alive?), Kate Moss and Bono? These celebs seem to mock the opening about Johnny wearing black to identify with the poor and the dowtrodden. All of the celebs featured are not poor, nor downtrodden. I'm confused.

The video is a stark contrast to the video for "Hurt", directed by Mark Romanek. Now this guy can direct a music video. He's done Beck's "Devil's Haircut", Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way", and NIN's "Closer", just to name a few. Tony Kaye did "Dani California" for the Chili Peppers. Ugh, I hate that song. I wished that Romanek did the directing for "God's", but then I read that he was on the braintrust for the video, along with producer Rick Rubin, Kaye and Justin Timberlake. Why Timberlake is involved is beyond me, but Romanek should probably have taken the helm on this one. A shame, for sure.

I'll let you make your own conclusions. Here's the video for "God's", as well as "Hurt" for good measure. As for the latter, I promise that I won't cry, but I'll probably get emotional.

"God's Gonna Cut You Down"

"Hurt"

When Marketing Departments Go All Stupid

Honestly, I feel bad for the Edmonton Oilers.

It's not just because lately, I feel that my undying love for them has seriously waned in the last little while (read: since they started subscribing to the suck), but because they've been subjected to some bad "themed" photo shoots in past years, notably during the heydays.

Inside the Rexall Place box office, there hangs a couple of old team photos from the glory years, which aren't too bad overall (all team members are making attempts at smiling/faking pleasure at being there), but they're just boring in concept. It seems that the Oilers' marketing department, or a part of it known as the "team photo brain trust", which was most likely full of meatbags, decided that the awesomest way to photo the team would be to put them out of their element. In another locale, a very non-hockey environment. Subsequently, our hearts are supposed to be set all-aflutter.

In one, you have the slogan, "My Team, My Town" (so original), and the Oilers are set in some random grassy plateau, with the cityscape somewhat recognizable in the background. Fairly pedestrian, fairly family picnic. The other has the team on a farm (which may fit this year's team, what with the shit-shoveling and all), which again, springs forth no new feelings of respect or admiration. It's just a farm, and a crappy looking one at that.

However, the photo team did put their feeble minds together and came up with this:

For fuck's sake. Poor Paul Coffey. He looks like a bitch. Does anyone look like they want to be there at all? I would guess that someone in the Oilers organization went to Disneyland and had a meteoric epiphany.

Apologies for the quality, but this is a photo of the actual poster, which I believe to be of the 1986-1987 team. Thanks to Marc for the delivery. Who the fuck is Danny Gare?