Friday, November 21, 2008

A Bad News/Good News Kind Of Day


THE BAD NEWS: Here's just another reason why America needs a helmet.

It needs a helmet, because it's becoming more and more obvious that it has severe learning deficiencies and mental disabilities, and it can no longer hide them. America could seriously hurt itself if the proper precautions are not taken to protect it from the inherent dangers out there in the world.

Specifically, the danger of creative and original thought-provoking entertainment! God only knows what kind of cognitive trauma could beset the USA if programs like Pushing Daisies were to continue on the air. With such sharp and intelligent dialogue, vibrant and engaging visuals and such wondefully well-written characters and plot development, America could actually learn to enjoy such a whimsical masterpiece of creative storytelling. And America can't have that. America is quite happy to wallow in its own stupidity, to marvel moronically at such intelligence-voided "reality" programs like "Dancing with the Stars" and laugh-track turds like "According to the late John Belushi's fat, untalented brother Jim". Why would America need a show like Pushing Daisies, a show that was as clever and witty as any other work of fiction on television today?

Because America doesn't need an uppity show like that reinforcing the fact that America is dumber than a bag of mentally-handicapped hammers. America watched a little bit of Pushing Daisies, and just didn't get it. Now, a show like "Dancing with the Stars", America gets that. America likes celebrities, and it likes things that move. Also, there are shiny costume adornments, and everybody likes those things. DWTS has all of those, and it's easy for America to keep up with shiny, moving people. But if America has to follow a plot, character development and ingenious dialogue, then things get messy. America will stomp its feet, pout its lips and furrow its brow before it wails incessantly that this kind of thing isn't fun. It's not fun because America has to think, and that is far beyond its capacity.

America, you've ruined another show destined for greatness with your limitations and your preference for anything that only requires mental reaction, and no contemplation. If you had only watched, learned and enjoyed, you could have found yourself on a higher plane of entertainment, but you didn't bother. And now Pushing Daisies is cancelled. Like Arrested Development before it, America decided to give creativity and quality the finger. And I hate America for it.

And Canada, you didn't help either. Shame on you both.

THE GOOD NEWS: Speaking of Arrested Development, apparently the film version of the show is a go!

Hurray America!

Now lose some weight.




3 comments:

Gordon said...

Indeed these are sad times. But there's always money in the Banana stand.

Anonymous said...

That is indeed sad and terrible news... are they at least going to finish this season of PD?

Anonymous said...

I too was incredibly disappointed to hear of Pushing Daisies demise,but not that they've killed a great show, just think of the trash they'll replace it with!