Hey Mom, I hope you're having a great day today, and I'm sorry for once again showing up hungover. That's eight years in a row, I know. I can't help it, though. It just that the day before your special day is always nice out, and there's always something going on. I know you didn't pick your day to be a Sunday, but that's not my fault either. I got you some flowers! I hope that you like them. I had to ask this really cute girl at the greenhouse "what kinds of flowers do moms like?", and she probably thought I was retarded. No matter, she's probably a psycho anyways.
I love you Mom, and even though I reek of beer, I'm sure you can smell the love emanating from my pores.
Happy Mother's Day everyone!
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