The Weekend: Quick And Dirty Version

To be quite honest, I really don't like these "diary" posts. Really, who gives two shits what I did, where I did it and with whom? Most likely nobody, and that's somewhat depressing. However, it's been a week since I amazed and humoured you with blaxploitation, and as of right now, I'm somewhat wired, so here's a new post! Shiny!

Friday:

Friday was a long and exhausting day, but one filled with incredible awesomeness that I will remember forever, mostly because I wasn't drinking. It's like riding a train for a week, just to reach the person you love, and when you get to your destination, they still love you, even though it was probably easier to take a plane, but you're kind of cheap. The only downside to Friday's memories is that I must remember them only in my mind, because the idiot in me didn't get any pictures. I hate that guy.


The SA of MacEwan hosted a welcome back-type concert featuring The Trews and Pilot Speed (formerly Pilate). Now, since these are Canadian bands, they require the SA to shuttle them to and from the airport, hotel and venue. Now what cool guy volunteered to do this? Me, baby, me. I just wanted to be a part of the event, much like I did at the U of A. So that's what I got to do: I picked up both bands from the airport, and shuttled them to the school and hotel. I also got to run around backstage, host a little bit on stage and chat a whole bunch with both bands. Overall, I can say that the boys in The Trews and Pilot Speed are a cargo plane full of awesome, and I have newfound respect for both bands (pick up their respective CDs now! They're actually really good! I'm not just saying that because we're best friends now!).

Saturday:

Ah, there's nothing like a little jaunt to the country. Lacombe, Alberta. Population: Enough to look like a civilized community. Bar scene: Non-existent, except for a scattered few pubs and hotel "bars" (not really bars, but closet spaces with stools - oh, and dirty). My buddy Greg G. lives out in Lacombe by his own free will, and has always bemoaned the fact that his Edmonton/Calgary/Wherever friends haven't visited his new home or sampled some of the local hospitality. It finally all came together on Saturday.

There were only four brave souls that day, but we experienced a town on the grow! Lacombe is buzzing with activity and stuff. Exhibit A: The Lacombe Corn Maze. I've never been to a corn maze, mostly because I am somewhat afraid that Jack Nicholson will chase after me with an axe while I'm there. I pressed the gents to accept the corn maze's taunt of "come get lost in the maze", or something unoriginal like that. I think a taunt of "The Lacombe Corn Maze: 46 People Did Not Make It Out Alive Last Year" is a better slogan, but I suppose it would freak out the families. Anyways, here's some pics.

The evening would prove to be most eventful, due to the fact that we were all fairly into the sauce, and that's probably an understatement (it always is). With Greg as our intrepid host, we set out to visit the very best, the very finest in bars that Lacombe has to offer. What we found were the finest in greasy, dirty, trashy bars that only a small town can deliver.

We began with pre-drinking at Greg's place which involved drinking games (my favourite was the game involving "Mega Man II", and having to drink each time Mega Man got hit), and some "Co-Op Gold" Lager (as bad as it sounds). After becoming soundly inebriated, we phoned a cab, and was greeted by an ancient driver who piloted a wagon with no dashboard lights. "How do you know what speed you're going?", we asked. "I know what speed I'm going", was the reply. Awesome! Our first destination was Boston Pizza, which was thankfully quite normal. After that, my memory is quite hazy, but I'll give you the gist:
- Most bars had incredibly old and ugly could-be cougars, which Greg hit on, and we laughed.
- Most bars were in hotels, and not good ones, either.
- Some bars had buckets in plain view to catch falling water dripping from the ceiliing.
- All bars had a variety of snacks, most overdue their expiry date.
- A surprisingly number of bars had a "help yourself" popcorn machine, and all had a sign by it saying "use the scoop, not your hands". Sweet!
- Scott's has a desire to bite everyone (runs in the family), but his biting had an unforseen result. Some guy thought Scott was kissing me, and he sent a girl by our table to give me his number on a napkin. I feel sorry for the guy. He's probably the only gay guy in Lacombe, hopefully sees another, but gets shot down. It's just sad, really.
- Some pictures are located here!

Another victory for the Weekend Crew. Tune in again for more wacky adventures!